vendredi 30 décembre 2011

2011 memories, 2012 resolution.

2011 and 2012.. So many stories, so many hope.

2011 itu... Penuh sama kenangan indah, manis, bikin ngakak, tapi nggak bisa dipungkirin juga, banyak juga kejadian yang bikin gue nangis, terpuruk, sedih terus-terusan, galau, bete, bikin marah, nyesel, kecewa...

Live has its ups and downs, and it's our job to live the life, the fullest.

Yap. 2011 full of lessons.

How to keep your loved ones. How to lose them. How to keep your grades. How to be in an organization. How to be a profesional one. How to lose your grades. How to build your hopes. How to lose a dream. How to keep your dream. How it feels to be replaced. How to take care of your heart. How to be in a relationship. How to lose a friend. How to get one. How to get your way back home. How it feels to be lied to.

Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow.
Sometimes we most lost in order to gain. 
Sometimes some lessons are best through pain.

I admit, this year is the hardest. Semua cobaan dateng. Entah masalah temen, duit, cinta, sekolah, keluarga... Tapi cuma di tahun ini, gue dapet pelajaran yang bener-bener 'ngena'. Yap, quote diatas bener banget. Some lessons are best through pain. Karena rasanya sakit, jadi kita tau kalau hal ini nggak boleh dilakuin. Karena di rasa sakit itu kita merasa jatuh juga, akhirnya kita belajar sama yang namanya bangkit. Disitu kita juga bisa belajar untuk sabar dan ikhlas menghadapi cobaan. Dan juga berharap kalau besok bakal ada hari yang lebih cerah dari hari ini. Belajar optimis dan semangat menjalani hidup. Belajar berbesar hati ketika ada yang menyakiti kita. Belajar kalau kita harus lebih baik dari hari kemarin, dan besok harus lebih baik dari hari ini. Lebih baik dari detik ke detik, menit ke menit selanjutnya.

Won't regret you, 2011. We have to move on, and I'm glad there's still 2012 in front of me.

Well then, this is my 2012 resolution.

1. No matter how hard I fall, I would rise up again in no time, more graceful than before.
2. Not give any damn about everything.
3. Focusing on my future.
4. 10 besar kelas.
5. Grades up.
6. No more 'galau' thingy.
7. Better in social life.
8. Better in my organization.
9. Be pro.
10. To do exceptionally well at school.
11. To be smarter when it comes to trusting people.
12. Keep my principles hard.
13. Makin kutilang.
14. Makin putih.
15. 40 kilos on the go.
16. More outgoing than before.
17. Not to fall in a same hole.
18. Forgetting my feelings about him. He's my past. This is my present, and tomorrow, my future.
19. Fell in love with physics.
20. Masuk OSN matematika. Gak akan nyerah.
21. Jadi kakak yang baik buat Ofi.
22. Grown closely with my brother.
23. Be pro at painting, and photography.
24. Belajar nyetir mobil!
25. Not to give up on anything, no matter what.

mercredi 28 décembre 2011

GBye :')

Goodbye, my lullaby. You'll always be my melody, but now you just stopped to sing. May our paths crossed again, so we'll meet again :')

lundi 26 décembre 2011

Look now.

Look at one of my post here.

I have to be strong with you, trying to get your crush. Me, too, have to get a good life.

"If life give you 100 reasons to give up, remember 1000 reasons for you to hold on."

I still have my family, my future to live on, my passion in art, still have amazing friends that keep reminds me to have a good life, so...

So when you found your love someday, I'll be watching in a distance. Even though I'm crying, deep down, I'm smiling too. If you're happy, then I'll be happy too.

And. Don't. Ever. Fucking. Forget. Me.

Just wish heartbreak is never really this.... hurt.

jeudi 22 décembre 2011

New family {}

"Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours." Ludwig Van Beethoven

Habis pulang Trip Observasi ke-41. Sampai di sekolah jam 2 pagi, kita mutusin buat ke rumah Iqbal buat forum + nginep (biar nggak kasian orangtua jemput dini hari -Me). Disana numpang mandi, forum, cerita, curhat, sampai numpang makan, terus tidur. Jam 11, pulang bareng Oji.

LOL nggak sedatar itu.

Jadi sm Zuri, Oji, Rhaka, Ipo, Chasa, Radit, Nadhifa, Brenda, sama Iqbal tentunya (yaiyalah dia yang punya rumah) kita jalan ke rumah Iqbal. Seluruh barang bawaan kita titipin di elfnya Elza. Karena malem, jadi rasanya rumahnya jauh. Nanjak, belok sana belok sini. Sampai-sampai, tas udah dikeluarin semua dari elf dan Elza pulang.

Sampai di sana, gue nungguin Ipo mandi, baru gue. Forumnya mulai duluan tanpa gue -_-, keluar langsung jb forum. Ngobrolin macem-macem, sampai offside terus balik lagi, offside lagi. Ada sesi curhatnya juga wkwk. Forum paling jamet + offside waktu. Dari jam setengah 4 pagi sampai jam 6. 

Zuri pulang. Chasa nyusul pulang.

Terus ditawarin makan. Jam 7 Nadhifa pulang. Terus akhirnya pada tepar. Bangun-bangun (jam setengah 10) Radit udah gak ada. Ternyata Radit pulang jam setengah 9 -_-. Jam 11 Rhaka Ipo Brenda pulang. Tinggal gue sama Oji, terus pulang deh jam 12.

Keliatannya sepele, tapi sebenernya nggak sedatar itu wkwk. Rame banget sampai ortunya Iqbal bangun lagi. Ketawa-ketawa, pada jamet, olok-olokan sampe Oji nangis -_-. Nyesel deh Ninin, Kiki, Elza yang gak ikut wkwk. Dan akhirnya kita memutuskan rumah Iqbal jadi basecamp Çista fraksi 2.

Eh iya. Saking capeknya, barang-barang ketinggalan semua.

Quotes paling berkesan selama forum: "Kita kan keluarga..." *sambil niruin emot peluknya BBM*

Jadi kangen kalian.

Walaupun jamet tapi tetep sayang @CistaNiti.

"I thank God for the way he made you, distinct, special and unique. You were not made from a common mold." Erwin W. Lutzer

jeudi 15 décembre 2011

Too late, right?

It hurts to see you, start to falling for someone else.

Just want to get back, but I know this is too late, right?


Hell, I love you. Being a rockhead didn't change anything.

And again, it's too late.

mercredi 14 décembre 2011

Kisses and some lyrics.

"Oh kiss me
Like you mean it
Like you miss me
'Cause I know
That you do

I wanna get back
Get back
With you."
-Get Back, Demi Lovato-

I found some facts about kisses at Shakugan No Shana ep.11. Here they are.

"I was wondering what meaning a kiss has."
"My, why are you curious about such a thing?"
"It's a question that seems simple, but is quite difficult to answer, Shana-chan. You said you did some research on it."
"Mm-hm. I looked through library books but could only find stuff I already knew about it. I know what it involves, and I've seen it before, but..."
"I feel that the meaning everyone envisions and the meaning I understand are completely diferent. I thought maybe you might know that meaning, Chigusa."
"Have you read novels and literature?"
"Alastor told me that written materials that include personal point of views are useless since they lack accurate analysis or logic"
"Mr. Alas Toru is that person living far away who's like a father to you, right? I can tell he's a person with great insight."
"However, Shana-chan, in this case, it's natural you'd have difficulty understanding. What you'll find in research material are accurate facts and theories, but little else. What you are trying to find out is something different. In other words, this is something vague with no complete answer. It's something to do with the heart and emotions."
"Heart and emotions?"
"You do understand that the act of two bodies touching is a sign of affection, right?"
"Mm-hm. And kissing is also that type of act, right? Shaking hands, and hugging... everyone's doing it."
"Hmm... Well, that's true, but for example, you wouldn't mind doing it with Mr. Alas Toru, right?
"Then could you do it with Yu-chan?"
"Huh? W-well..."
"When you think about it along those terms, it's kind of embarassing, right?"
"That's the core of this story. Also, a kiss to the cheek has a completely different meaning to it than a mouth-to-mouth kiss."
"M-mouth-to-mouth with Yuji?! N-no way. Never. I would never want that."
"And that's quite all right."
"You musn't let him. In fact, it's not something you should do with Mr. Alas Toru either. Shana-chan, this is how I feel. A mouth-to-mouth kiss is like a pledge."
"A pledge?"
"Yes. The act is a pledge that you will allow all of yourself to become closer and allow yourself to be taken care of."

And these are lyrics that blew up my mind now. Dunno why, but somehow it explains my situation.

"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be."
-Unwell, Matchbox Twenty-

"How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well?
How did we get here?
Oh, I think I know

Do you see, what we've done
We're gonna make such fools for ourselves
Do you see, what we've done
We're gonna make such fools for ourselves."
-Decode, Paramore-

"Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my hearts got a right mind
To tell you that I can't keep loving you, can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart, with half of my heart

But I can't stop loving you, I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you, I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you with half of my
Half of my heart, oh half of my heart."
-Half of My Heart, John Mayer-

Soowwy, super-lazy today.

mercredi 7 décembre 2011

Just another quote.

"I wasn't that little girl you used to see. Maybe I'm put a good wall, easily badmood or get angry or what, capable of acting strong, or whatsoever. But just for you to know, I'm more fragile than before."

lundi 5 décembre 2011

My perspective.

We have come to a different yet new path.

It seems like you're just not taking a damn over me. When me, on the other side, crying and helplessly wishing for you to come... Stupid me.

Oh, how I miss being your center of attention. Miss the feeling that comes when I was your sister, literally.

Now, just look at us. We've changed. So much that I barely recognize you anymore.

Well, maybe this is really a goodbye. So much for the past, the present.

Thank you.